The Bad Boy: Why Women Love Them (And How to Become One)

I  should make something very clear before we get going: this article will not teach you how to mistreat women, or give you instructions about how to be a douchebag (which are stereotypical characteristics of the bad boy).

However, in this article, you can expect to learn how to become the bad boy that women want, but in the best way possible.

You’ll understand what it is about the bad boy that drives women crazy.

And, you’ll know how to implement these skills into your dating world without compromising yourself and becoming a dick.

Relationships work best when both parties make each other happy, and they fail miserably when they are neglected and cause jealousy and resentment.  Before we get into our solutions, it’s important to understand why women go for the bad boy.

Why Do Women Love A “Bad Boy”?

There are a few reasons, but the most common one I’ve come to understand through my work with men and women is that women want to help the bad boy.

Most women are nurturers. We’ve been programmed by popular culture, social media, television and movies that we can change the bad boy to be monogamous. We nurture the tortured soul because we genuinely believe they can change and that they will change if they love us enough. Kind of sad, really, when you think about it.

This is like when young girls are told that when a boy is mean to us it just means that they like us. This is part of the reason why we also have a deep-rooted attraction to be mistreated by the stereotypical bad boy, but, in actuality, we are attracted to their indifferent personality in that they can take a girl or leave her.

How Can You Become That Type of Guy?

So now you’re wondering how the hell you become the bad boy that women want? Well, it is, actually, really simple; it all boils down to confidence.

One of the best ways to create some confidence in yourself is to practice getting out of your comfort zone. And what I mean by that is getting comfortable being uncomfortable. Instead of being crippled by the thought of rejection, go out into the world and get rejected a couple times. I guarantee you that you will learn that life goes on!

Another way to get out of your comfort zone is to try new things, a new sport, go out with a different group of friends and meet new people. Try taking a class of some sort. Learn Spanish. I’m just spit balling here, but I’m sure you could come up with a list of three to five things that you have put off doing in your life for different reasons.

Have you been meaning to go bungee jumping? Do you want to take a salsa dancing class, but you always tell yourself you’ll do it later in life? Do it now! The quicker you become comfortable being out of your comfort zone, the more interesting you will be, but, also, you will have an ability to maneuver many different situations that come your way without getting flustered.

The bad boy persona has been studied psychologically, and the consensus is that it is a male with narcissistic tendencies. What is a narcissist, you might be asking? A narcissist is someone with an excessive or erotic interest in one’s self and one’s physical appearance. The bad boy narcissist is typically very good at many short-term relationships, but because they are so self-focused, longevity in relationships isn’t something they value or strive for.

What’s The Deeper Appeal of the Bad Boy Image?

At first glance, the bad boy, the narcissist, is desirable. His indifference and high sense of self is very attractive. He is hot; however, women learn, usually through heartbreak, that the bad boy is always looking out for himself. It takes a lot of trial and error for women to understand that the “real” bad boy is not the guy for a relationship.

What is appealing about him is his confidence and his ability to take control of a situation, but, at the end of the day, women really want a man to be kind to her and to desire her too. Women want the best of both worlds. Actually, we want you to be the fake bad boy, and what I mean by that is we want you to have a hard exterior with a gooey soft center.

We like to be chased, but we also like to do some of the chasing. It makes the relationship more worthwhile when we, too, have to work for it.

Now that you know why women like bad boys and some ways to become the best possible version of one, go forth and date! And I look forward to hearing your success stories! Just remember: put yourself first, be confident, get out of your comfort zone, but, ultimately, be kind.

Good luck!